Dirtbag Journalism

Homopunks : A Frenchy Buffet

In Uncategorized on October 24, 2009 at 11:15 AM


 Two weekends ago Jordaan was telling me about this new porn Bruce La Bruce directed( apparently was done as a venture with a german porn company)called Homo Punks. It sounded really good, so I decided to scroll the internet for more info. To my surprise, I found this really random paysite of the same name. The site doesn’t make any sense, but most of the pictures are really ridiculous. Since the kids who read Johnny B like ridiculous( I assume so anyway), I think it’s only appropriate that I give each of these photo’s a quick evaluation.

 P.S It’s all in good fun and all the photo credit goes to Homopunks(these are not my photos)


-Men from Berlin : Good Look

-These men from Berlin : Not A Good Look


-Wearing a helmet : Good Look

-Dirty scruff look : Good Look

-Uncut penis : I’m on the fence


-Looking like a jock bro that goes to Mod Club : Not A Good Look

-Arcade Fridays at Mod Club : Good Look

-Barely there mankini : Good Look

-Barely there weenie : Not A Good Look

-Bunny toque : Good Look

-Having a name like Zoltan : Good Look(more like an awesome look)


-Classic Nike sneakers : Good Look

-French bottoms : Good Look

-Fishnet tops : Good Look

-Assless purple spandex : Not A Good Look

-Taking the sexiest that is American Apparel ads and making a gay Frenchy version : Good Look


-Having an “impressive resume” : Good Look

-Having an oddly shaped resume: Not A Good Look

-Weirdo clown fetish : Good Look (Hey, it’s 2009. I’m a fan of all freaks haha)

-Poor pubic hair maintainance : Not A Good Look



– I love France T-shirt : Good Look

-Making the Mona Lisa suck your cock : Not A Good Look

-“French Fries special” : Not A Good Look

-Using a cheesy porno name like “Cockteau” : Not A Good Look


-Cute trashy boy : Good Look

-Red bow ties : Good Look

-Another dude wearing bunny ears : Not A Good Look

-Smoking to increase sex appeal : Not A Good Look(but it works doesn’t it ?)


-Having two names : Good Look

 Marky Marco’s ass : Good Look

-Flexibility : Good Look

-The “work it, work it” captions on the photo : Good Look

-Anything else of Marky Marko’s besides the things mentioned : Not A Good Look(butterface)


-Police men hats : Good Look

-Having an “impressive resume” : Good Look

-Leg Tattoo : Good Look

-Good beards : Good Look

-Being the hottest Frenchy on the site : Good Look

So all in all this site is fucked. When I finally meet up with Jordaan, we will be the watching the actual Homo Punx porn and I’ll review for y’all in our next porn club meeting.


Johnny B

  1. Oh child. What a funny/crude entry. So glad I didn’t look at this in public. That guy in the police hat = good look for SURE.

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